Pretty Pretty

So while we're waiting, I wanted to introduce our little girl - Zoe:

Morgan insists that she's shy and doesn't want to be exploited across the internet.  But when he's at work, she trots into my office and just begs to be a star.  And who could resist that face?

Laying on Daddy's Pillow

Napping on the top of a couch cushion - she loves to sleep!

And I'll get in trouble if I don't also show our other three little beasts - Larry, Moe, and Curly:

Powder

Parker

Patrick

POSTCARD

It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's... ewww

So Morgan's sperm is flying high over the Atlantic Ocean right about now.

Think about that next time it rains...



As you can probably guess, we decided to remote deposit the semen.  Truly a mail order situation - if FedEx would just deliver the baby, we'd be all set (I wouldn't even grumble about having to wait around to sign!).

The short version of how this works for anyone interested:

1. Contract with a firm that supplies a tank and handles all the logistics (we went with one that SCI recommended and has experience - they're in Toronto)
2. Find a local IVF clinic that will work with you
3. Go to the clinic, submit your deposit, and have them freeze it
4. Have the firm that handles the logistics ship them the tank (they like to ship it out on a Monday so it all happens in one week - the tank has enough juice to stay frozen 3 weeks, but why risk it)
5. They fill the tank and ship it overnight, then the IVF clinic puts the frozen semen inside and arranges to have it picked up and sent to India the same day, then it goes through Customs and gets delivered; for us, this took from Monday through Friday total, but could be a little longer if delayed in Customs

And there you go - door-to-door sperm delivery!

Today we left my MDNA...

No, not the Madonna album:  Morgan-D.N.A.

Today we woke up early to go to the IVF clinic where I would make my "deposit', have it frozen, and await the shipping container that will take it to Delhi next week.

This is for the guys: there's no sugar-coating it, it's just plain weird.

This past week has been pretty stressful considering this is the
specimen that will contain half of our future child.  This is the one that counts, and there's a lot of anxiety about it.

Also, I've been speculating about what the clinic is like and what I was going to experience.  I've been losing sleep about having to make the "deposit" there, rather than in the comfort of my home (like I did for the semen analysis).  And I've been dreading the thought of being judged.

My chief concerns being:

• Are there going to be people in the waiting room looking at me going into the room?
• Will they look at me when I come out?
• Will they be timing how long I've been in there?
• If I'm quick, should I maybe hang out in there awhile?
• If I'm in there too long, will they think something's wrong with me?
• Should I bring porn or something?

So we get there and it was a very nice clinic; new and professional-looking.  The staff was nice and there was complimentary coffee (I didn't partake).  There was a lot of people there which kind of surprised me; but I guess if you want a baby, work can wait.

Do you guys have cable?

How many were here before me?

After checking in, I waited for them to call me in to the dreaded room.  When I got called I was led to a room at the end of a long hallway.  I entered a typical exam room that was larger than your standard doctor's office.  Oh, did I mention there was also a love-seat with a disposable underpad on it, a widescreen TV with a built-in DVD player, a DVD called "Lust In Paradise 2", and a handful of Playboy magazines.  Nevertheless, it's still a freakin' doctor's office.  At least it was clean.

Relax..they're almost fully clothed.

Granted, this is geared to heterosexual men, but they should at least offer something for those not interested in "Lust In Paradise 2."  And how bored does the brunette look on the video cover?  Do straight guys really read or use Playboy anymore?  With the internet, it seems pointless.  Playboy girls are also so generic-looking.  I have a theory that they're all just clones of previous bunnies, but that's another blog.  Needless to say, this was going to be the most  awkward and least sexual masturbation session ever.

Let's skip ahead and mention how incredibly awkward and weird it is to ejaculate into a specimen cup.  Gross... (and sorry mom, if you're reading this).  And unless you have a good imagination, bring your own adult materials (magazines, DVDs, iPad/tablet, etc.).  This is a pretty difficult environment to get "excited" in, unless your fetish happens to be medical-related (ewww!).

After dropping the specimen container on the floor in front of the lab assistant, in which she assured me "they're okay", I went back to the waiting room to get John and leave.

John told me the guy who went in a room after me, was done well before I was.  That made me feel much better.

We went to Dunkin' Donuts afterword for some donuts and the world's shittiest coffee.

Backtrack: Egg-Donor Selection (or Morgan Only Likes Pretty Girls)

This is a topic I never seemed to read about on other blogs.  Although incredibly personal, how do you choose an egg-donor?  What is the criteria you base your selection on?

After deciding on which clinic to use, we were emailed what seemed like a hundred egg-donor profiles.  It's a slightly uncomfortable experience opening up generic profiles and seeing pictures of women who are donating their genetic material for charitable or, let's be honest, monetary reasons.

My first reaction to looking at a few of the pictures was "oh my god, one of these women will be the genetic mother of our child."  It's unsettling and takes awhile to get used to.

After getting over the initial awkwardness, I began to wonder what is it that we're looking for in this mystery woman?  Their profile's are so vague.  There are two lists of women to choose from; one being college-educated women, and another who are not.

Initially, our first thought was to go with the smarter, college-educated donors.  But is education genetic?  I don't think so.  I would say it's a matter of social/economic/regional status.  My thought is that the more educated women came from more privileged backgrounds (middle- to upper-class).  They want to finish paying for school or to study abroad.  The longer list are women who want to pay for their own or their children's education, buy a home, start a business, etc.  I believe all the women are doing this for honorable and charitable reasons, but money talks regardless of country or class.

As we began looking through them, I felt a little bad at first because I was judging them on their looks.  I wish I could say "looks don't matter" but when that's 90% of what you have to go on, you weed out who you find unattractive.  When you begin to decide what's attractive to you and what's not, it gets quicker to discount the contenders.

John and I both looked through them together and picked our favorites, compared them, and narrowed them down.

Once we whittled down our possibilities, that's when I really begin to scrutinize each one even more based on their looks.  What parts of her face would mix well with mine?  Never one to stifle my vain and conceited opinion, some of the terrible things I uttered sounded like things mean girls in high school say about other girls:

• She's not tall enough
• She's too fat
• Her face is too round
• She has a big jaw
• She's ugly
• Her smile is too gummy
• She looks mean
• She looks mannish
• Why would she dress like that?
• That's the picture she though best-represented herself?

Once we narrowed our list down to about 10, you get even more precise:

• Her ears are too big
• She has a bad complexion
• I don't like her make-up
• Her hair looks terrible
• Her hairline isn't right
• Her face isn't symmetrical

We were told to narrow it down to 5 candidates, and so we did.  I would have been extremely happy with any of our top 5.  But we still presented them in the order in which we liked them.  The top two, in my mind, were pretty much tied; one was more beautiful in the classic sense and the other was more beautiful in a modern way - but both on equal standing.

I also used a program that morphs two faces into a baby picture with the top 5 (a sort of "Mommy, what will I look like?" if you're an "Arrested Development" fan).  I thought the top 3 made the best looking babies, though I don't put a lot of credence in those pictures.

We submitted our 5 and found that "Ms. Classic" wasn't available until the end of the year, so we chose "Ms. Modern" and couldn't be more happy.

So there you have it.  It makes me sound like I'm obsessed with looks; I'm just like any other man.